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Post A Note > The Lounge > Life, The Universe, and Everything > blog update! The Realm - Demon's domain.
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Author Topic: blog update! The Realm - Demon's domain.  (Read 461 times)
Humi
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« on: May 21, 2012, 04:00:59 PM »
this is part of the prequel. check it out and tell me what u think Smiley

http://humeirakazmi.weebly.com/1/post/2012/05/origin-of-the-realm-part-1-the-universe-that-demon-rules-the-universe-that-aoife-belongs-to.html
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MaryR
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« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2012, 12:42:04 AM »
Oh, good for you, girl! 

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Humi
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« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2012, 12:46:37 PM »
need a better word than 'usurp'!!!
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spellbound
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« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2012, 01:37:57 PM »
Okay, sorry, I've been spending a lot of time researching for Assignments 5 & 6. Needed a break so here are my thought processes and recommend word.

First I went to the thesaurus with usurp-I liked the word grab but didn't feel it was perfect. So I checked the definition "to seize and hold by force or without legal right.

I like the word seize

put the definition in the reverse dictionary and found the word seize right on top. Okay, good sign for this word. I then went to the dictionary with seize-"to take possession of by force or at will" and then the thesaurus a "verb, grab, take".

Yes, this is the process I use to find the perfect words for me. Anyway, I recommend 'seize'
« Last Edit: May 22, 2012, 01:43:01 PM by spellbound » Logged
Dennise

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MaryR
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« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2012, 11:44:38 PM »
Sigh. I want you ALL to take your thesaurus...thesaurii?....to  good will or the library donation bin.  Seriously!  If you have to look the word up you really do not understand the nuances.  I can SO tell when a novice writer has been in the thesaurus. The words just don't quite fit and those that DO know all the subtle nuances, snicker.

Really.  Read harder books and broaden your vocabulary and LOSE the thesaurus.

Mary Rosenblum LR Web Editor
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spellbound
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« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2012, 09:14:37 AM »
Snicker all you want. I'll still use my thesaurus.

As you can see, I checked out the word choices and did try catch the nuance. I didn't just pick a word that sounded good.
« Last Edit: May 23, 2012, 09:19:24 AM by spellbound » Logged
Dennise

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Humi
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« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2012, 11:24:16 AM »
oh but i love my thesaurus! it looks great on the book shelf and when ppl come in and look at my book collection and then at my files bearing my own work etc plus a dictionary and a thesaurus they're mighty IMPRESSED!! Tongue

tho i never use it. no...word has a built in one and it does the job but 'usurp' was not out of a thesaurus or MS word..it was me. i thought Sikam shud say that so he did Wink
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ann
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« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2012, 07:34:06 PM »
“I own that land.” Sikam lashed back. “You cannot usurp it.”

I think Humi many people might have to look up what that word means. Not everybody who reads a book is word savvi.

Could you simply say "It's not yours to have."

Come on folks help Humi out?

Sorry Sikam don't think that word. to me it just doesn't look right.
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Humi
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« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2012, 11:36:23 PM »
lolllllllll!! Sikam is in a pickle again! oh my the destiny of the fateless Cheesy
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MaryR
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« Reply #9 on: May 25, 2012, 12:50:14 AM »
I'm voting for usurp.  Enough people know what it means, and the meaning is so clear, in context, that if they don't know, they'll guess and guess close enough.  Usurp is not quite the same nuance as seize, but they're both so close that it's a flip a coin situation.  No reason to change the author's preference.

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spellbound
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« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2012, 10:07:48 AM »
I disagree. To usurp is to take something that belongs to someone yes, but most often it's intangible (although tangible objects can be included). Such as a title, position, office, copyright, etc. Maybe this is my problem, I feel something that is usurped has been done underhanded or deceptive so that the usurpee didn't see it coming. I didn't see this here. Both men, here, have laid claim to the land. One with it having been given to him; the other with words only leaving us to wonder his claim. Both men understand the worth of the land. So this statement "A land should never fall into the hands of one who doesn’t understand it. Hence, unclaimed it was." makes it possible for either to own the land since both seem to "understand it." So we don't really know who's doing the usurping and who's being usurped except that Sikam came to us to authenticate his claim. “I own that land.” Sikam lashed back. “You cannot usurp it.”

Anyway, I'm only one person and perhaps the other 999,999+ people who read your story will not care. It was a word out of place to me compared to the other words used up to now.

As for whether or not to use words that have to be looked up, this is my view. As authors we should do what we can to keep the language. In the book "On Writing Well", the chapter on "Usage" (chapter 7) was very encouraging. I loved hearing about all the trouble they go through to keep or toss a word. We have an obligation to treat the language in our books the same way. But the language needs to be consistent throughout the story.

My vocabulary is not the best. I tried when in high school to improve it. The only thing I got out of that class was that the teacher dreamed of taking the whole student body into the gymnasium and chopping off our heads with a helicopter's blade as it flew upside down.

I wish there was a way to remove the stuff that's in the way preventing me from learning. It's very hard and tedious for me to add anything new. I don't mind reading books with difficult words. I do one of the following: 1) understand it through the context, 2) look it up or 3) just pass through hoping something will sink in. The book "Cutting for Stone" is such a book. So many unfamiliar words and yet it's one of the best books I've read in a long time, except for the format. I hate the format. But that's for another discussion.

Anyway, Humi, do what you want. It's your story and you know the characters much better than I do. I was only making an observation about a word that threw me out of the post. I know I'm an oddball and my head isn't screwed on correctly-it's been proven- so I only make recommendations and notations and make sure the author knows it's only my opinion and definitely not from an expert.
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Voca
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« Reply #11 on: May 25, 2012, 12:23:06 PM »
About your 5th paragraph, Spellbound. Your tone was so plaintive it made me want to reply. ("I wish there was a way to remove what's preventing me from learning," you said.) I wish that too, but as applied to other areas of living.
People do learn in such a variety of ways. My whole elementary and H.S. ducation was so based on learn the words, learn the words. As a result, now I feel I sometimes waste too much time "looking it up," when the context pretty much tells the meaning.
Still my background of learning Latin and some Greek has served me well with regard to words and etymologies. (That is the result of my academic background.)

But now I feel I need to loosen up a bit. (As a matter of fact, I think I'm presently writing at about 4th grade vocab. level. LOL) 

What about you, has your level or style of word usage changed? A lot of times I now like one-syllable words, if I can get them, over multiple-syllables.

Voca
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spellbound
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« Reply #12 on: May 25, 2012, 01:22:38 PM »
I'm in a position now that I can read most anything-our children are reading on their own and have been for some time. Most of what I've read in the past few years has been children's and young adult.

I began my writing career writing children's books. I have five picture books done. Three, of which, I feel are ready for illustration. One is in the process of being illustrated. I decided to take BIP because I have a science fiction opera novel begging to get out. (I have set aside one young adult novel ready for revision from first draft, one almost to first draft and two or three outlined)

A rather round about way to tell you I'm thinking my vocabulary is about the fifth - seventh grade level as most young adult novels are at that reading level. Which is better than the kindergarten to second grade level of most of today's picture books that I'd been working with when I wrote the books. (Used to be they went up to fourth grade) I've tried reading science fiction to aid my novel and I have a really difficult time getting into them. I just finished reading "My Side of the Mountain" for the umpteenth time. (It's such an easy read and I wanted an easy read about that very subject. Something that's happening too much. How am I supposed to increase my intellectual writing if I'm reading books at the fifth grade level?)

So how is this affecting my writing. Sometime a really high level word will come out, but since the piece is not at that level, it's out of place and I need to dumb down the word or rewrite the piece to meet that words level. My attempts to write at a higher level are a great struggle for me. I'll go days without writing because the piece is not at the level I want hoping my mind, which is always working on a story, will figure it out. I'd rather dumb down the rare, above level, word that comes to mind than attempt to revise the rest to its level. Perhaps over time, I will increase my level of writing?

I have lost so much intelligence as I've aged. I graduated seventh in my class in high school. Never had to study. My college cumulative was 3.85. (I had to study really hard to get that level) I don't think I could get anywhere near that now. I graduated with an associates degree in Animal Science Veterinary Technician. I've been out of that field for fourteen years. Don't think I could do it anymore. And I was good (not to  pat myself on the back, but I was in demand) My thoughts are too scattered to keep up with all the drugs, formulas, requirements, etc. (I was really good in surgery and in the lab. Now if you ask me the values or where certain parts are, forget it. Most of its gone. Maybe that's one of the reasons I'm enjoying "Cutting for Stone" all the medical terms and diseases. The other reasons are the descriptive, psychological and regional cultural parts. As stated before, I hate the format.)

I'm not sure what level most of society is reading, but as stated earlier, I feel, as an author, we should not necessarily write at their level. So in order to hit the masses an author has a decision to make. To write for the intellectual types or write at societies level or a bit above and hope they will read. If they do, we could bring up their level.  Probably a lot slower than it went down, but that's how it works. I'd rather write above, but as you can see, I'm pretty much at their level or a tiny bit above anyway. (Twilight series was around fifth grade reading level, Harry Potter started out at mid fifth grade and ended at about the seventh grade, Hunger Games about fifth grade, the Survivor Series by Susan Pfeffer about fourth grade and so on)

My children are reading at College level. It's amazing I can call myself their mother and teacher. (I homeschool)

Well, a bit long winded to answer your question. I think the answer is in there somewhere  Grin
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ann
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« Reply #13 on: May 26, 2012, 01:16:55 AM »
Great reply well said and it speaks for a lot of us. My target is the everyday person who wants to read an interesting story. I long ago had to give up the thought that this writer or that writer was better than me even though I thought they knew so much I mean those within the writing schools. But do they really?

Getting back to words. I have a British friend who was a Englsih teacher in Saudie Arabia to a princess' children. The princess had body guards etc. The princess had one of her body guards murdered in the UK. One scenario was caught on camera in a lift where this person was being abused. It was on youtube by CNN. Anyway my friend decided to write a fictional novel based on all the facts. She finished it. Sent it to the UK to her editor friend and what does the editor friend say. Re-do get rid of all your big words then send it back. Keep it simple.
Food for thought
Ann
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Humi
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« Reply #14 on: May 26, 2012, 10:42:51 AM »
Grin wooooooo women!

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